Just Today

I nabbed a copy of Annie Dillard’s Pilgrim at Tinker Creek nearly a month ago, I’d been wanting to read it for quite some time, and now I’m stuck at page 10.  It is here I read, ” . . . that beauty and grace are performed whether or not we will or sense them.  The least we can do is try to be there.”  And it is here I have stopped.  I just can’t get past that.

[T]hat beauty and grace are performed whether or not we will or sense them.  The least we can do is try to be there.

Grace and beauty are happening all around me.  God is always up to something good, many times it is faint and mysterious, but if I fail to be there, I miss it.  I want to be there.  I want to show up.  I want to wait and watch and maybe catch the glimmer, even if it is the rapidest of glimpses, of what He’s creating and transforming and reawakening.

These past months I’ve been spending a lot of spiritual and mental energy trying to strategize and plan for ministry development and growth.  Step out on my own.  It’s a process with a lot of factors.  As much as I plan and pray, the stepping out of the boat step isn’t just about one foot in front of the other.  It’s more like 20 feet in front of the other 20, and I’m missing 19 appendages on each side.

Have you ever been there?  No matter what information you gather toward the goal, you find more holes that need plugging but your bag of tricks is empty.  Your wallet is bereft.  Your training inadequate and your experience insufficient.  So, you keep plugging along, wishing you were further along, doing more, but still mostly groping around in the dark.

I imagine this is what an ill individual might feel when the doctors can’t figure out what is wrong.  Looking for info on the internet, asking around, seeking clues and cures, but not knowing.  Not quite there yet.  Hoping, waiting, and praying that the next appointment might prove fruitful.

I imagine this is what someone without a job might feel as he continues to hunt the job listings week after week, filling out resumes and going to job interviews.  At some point all the praying, networking, and self-selling has got to prove fruitful, right?  Just one more resume.  Just one more interview.  Just one more, and then . . .

You see, with all the strategizing and hoping and planning, the mystery of Life sometimes gets lost.  Trying is hard work.  And when all a person does is try or spend her time thinking about what to try, by the time the day is over, she’s too spent to revel.

You can’t schedule miracles.

You can’t plan for Heaven to fall down.

You can’t figure out the logistics of how and when Grace will appear on the scene.

You simply have to be there with all the senses attuned and primed, ready and waiting.

So today, my waking thoughts and prayers to God were about just trying to be there to glimpse the moments of grace and beauty He’s prepared for me today.  I’m not going to spend my day wondering what step comes first and how I go about doing it.  Instead, I’m going to be led by desire and joy and peace.  I will be led by Him–into green pastures, beside still waters, my soul restored.

Today He will be my Shepherd.  I’ll plan for tomorrow tomorrow.  May you find yourself present in the beauty of today and allow the Shepherd to lead you out of your concerns and worries and busyness into His amazing grace.

Happy Monday.


One Response to “Just Today”
  1. Judy says:

    ahh, yes!

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