On Being a Stay At Home Mom: The Beginning

Lately I’ve been feeling a need to help women who happen to be SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms) or will be transitioning into such a position or even hope to be living their work in the home at some point.  This is no way meant to exclude SAHDs (Stay At Home Dads) but these series, while hoping to benefit all stay at home parents will be written from the feminine vernacular.

When I was younger, long before I had kids and before I was even ready to be married, being a SAHM was not something I considered myself doing.  In fact, while I was in college, considering graduate studies, having kids was not a priority at all.  While marriage had remained a pretty serious endeavor, having children was something that I felt I truly didn’t need to be fulfilled.

Then, I got pregnant.

I was in my final year of Bible College working toward my pastoral ministry degree, not even married yet though I’d finally met the man I knew I would marry.  I believed in abstinence before marriage, still do, but it was something I failed to stick to and, well . . . you can fill in the blanks.

Anyway, it wasn’t until our baby girl arrived, the two of us trying to finish our degrees, learning about each other, and building a home that being a SAHM became the focus of my days.  I didn’t consider myself a SAHM; we were simply trying to do the best we could given our schedules and what little income we had–daycare was out of the question–and I did work.  I worked evenings, opposite his schedule.

That lasted a couple of years and then our little guy came along.  We finally finished our degrees and at the end of that summer, we moved for Joe’s teaching position nearly a thousand miles away.  It was here that being a SAHM really began to take shape, but I didn’t quite know it yet.

What I did know, however, were a couple things my training as a minister had taught me and how these things shaped how I have come to view the family.  Parents are the most important factor in the development of children, and the home is the most important environment of all.  Parents’ lives are the best indicator of childrens’ behavior, and the parents’ voices simply serve to reinforce the consistency of lifestyle that either is or isn’t being shown in the home.  Add to that my personal conviction: If God gave me these kids to raise, then I am the best person to train them up in the way they should go.  There’s something about them that I’m best able to help them learn to love God and serve others.  If it were not so, these precious souls would’ve been given to another to raise.

That’s the “spiritual” side of choosing to be a SAHM; however, it was the practical stuff that probably spoke more loudly in the beginning.  You see, I now had two little kids at home without the prospect of a good-paying job.  I couldn’t really make enough money to make weekly daycare a viable option.  I would end up sacrificing my “spiritual” convictions for a couple hundred dollars a month–after everything was deducted and the bills were paid.  The way I saw it, my kids’ hearts and development for an extra $200 a month?  Not worth it.

So, with the support of my husband, I stayed home and watched my own kids.  I didn’t know very many moms who were doing what I did; some, but not many.  Where would I go for mothering advice?  Who would be my role model?  Who would serve as my example?  I didn’t go to college for this.  I was ready for ministry, but mothering wasn’t my aim or goal.  Now what?

As simple-minded as it sounds: with God’s help, I’ve come to figure it out.  These are the things He’s taught me on my journey (which, by the way I’m still taking).

I tell you all this so that you know I’m normal.  I’m no Martha Stewart or Super Woman.  I’m simply a woman who loves God and takes parenting seriously.  My “dream” has always been something other than the home, but my day-to-day life is rather dreamy even though it might not always appear so to outsiders.  Nevertheless, I love this life God has allowed me to be living, and though there have been times I wanted it to be different, God has given me the grace and joy of loving what it is and shaping our home into something I can smile upon and appreciate.  I hope these upcoming blogs will be an inspiration to you.

Category: Blog · Tags: , ,

Leave A Comment


Contact Me

Your message was successfully sent.
Thank You!