Wisdom Shwisdumb

Ecclesiastics.  Need I say more?

For those of you who are familiar with this biblical book, probably not.  But for those of you who aren’t, let me explain.

Ecclesiastics comes from the heart and mind of the great and wise king Solomon, David’s son.  He has the reputation of being the richest man of his time (if not ever) in many ways–wisdom, women, wealth, and whatever else.  And yet, in this book we hear him say, over and over, that it’s all meaningless.  Whatever he’s sought and found, he still finds himself wanting.  “Life” never really makes sense.  The pleasures of life are fleeting and our pursuit of it all, in the end, is meaningless.

That was my mood for most of the day yesterday.  I was in an ecclesiastical sort of mood (not to be confused with ecclesiastical government).  As I read Ecclesiastics before closing my eyes for the night the dissonance of Solomon’s thoughts rang true in my own heart for I find myself in a period of soul-searching-yet-not-finding that’s taking longer than I would like.

I sit to pray and find myself mute.

I set myself to study and know not what I am to learn.

I read books and articles meant to ignite my spirit and mind toward wisdom and find myself bored.

My learning brings about opinions and passions that I can’t fully live or adequately communicate making me a hypocrite in my habits and a woman of hot air and surly disposition.

What is the point of wisdom when the “unenlightened” have more joy?  Wisdom leads to more responsibility and where’s the joy in responsibility, right?

Wisdom Shwisdumb.

For everything I learn, I am now held responsible to apply.  And if I do not apply myself to the Truth, I want and yearn and come up short.  The more I confront the failures of my brokenness, I find ten other things that need to be mended and fixed and set right.  The work of conforming to Christ is a never-ending and ever-present reality of my waking hours.  So I try to do something.  But nothing I do remedies the shabbiness I feel before the Lord.

Sure, I know I’m a daughter of the Most High King thanks to shed blood and grace that come to me through Jesus.  I know that my righteousness is not by any works I do and is only through Him alone.  I know that I am not redeemed by my actions but it’s my relationship that binds me to the Father.  This I know, surely, in my heart.  I am confident in this.

But I’m also fully aware of my lack.  Even still with grace and redemption, in this life, on this earth I am unholy.  I remain a broken soul in need of a Saviour.  So I cling.  I read.  I pray (or try to).  I yearn.  I cry out, but I can’t get close enough to One who reigns supreme.  I can’t breathe deep enough to fill the depths of my soul with sweet Purity to wipe my need away.  I long and strive and still come up short of air, breathless and dizzy.

I’ve prayed for wisdom throughout my life, thinking it a good thing, but after all this time I find wisdom lacking.  Wisdom does not curb the appetite of desire.  In fact, it fuels desire itself.  Wisdom leaves me hungrier and less satisfied.  Wisdom makes me more aware of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly and my inability to truly escape it.  No matter how much I come to know, I will never know enough.  And even if I learn it all, I’ll never be able to comprehend it.

“When I applied my mind to know wisdom and to observe man’s labor on earth–his eyes not seeing sleep day or night–then I saw all that God has done.  No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun.  Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning.  Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.”  (8:16-17)

But here’s the Hope in all life’s meaninglessness: “The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true . . .  Be warned of anything in addition to them . . . Here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.  For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.”  (12:10,12-14)

Wisdom or ignorance.  Joy or sorrow.  Plenty or poverty.  Socialite or laborer.  Firm or flimsy.  Whatever our lot, whatever our feelings, and whatever the complexities of life under the sun, it’s not for any of us to determine what is or is not meaningful in life.  As Solomon asserts, it’s really very simple: do what God says (finding it in His Word) and leave the rest to Him.  Anything more and we’re chasing our own tails.

Well, okay then, Lord.  Help me then to keep it simple, wisdom and all.  This is what I prayed before falling to sleep.  And you know what, I’m in a much better place today.  I know that my season of waiting is not over, but His reminder to me in Ecclesiastics was just what my hungry soul needed–Wisdom from Above.

Thank you, Lord, for your wisdom.


One Response to “Wisdom Shwisdumb”
  1. Judy says:

    once again… awesome! I was thinking the other day that sometimes ignorance is bliss… some people seem so peaceful, but I really don't know them… and in the end are they really at peace not knowing or being shown how to be better with God? Thank you for being so wise! I need your wisdom to sharpen me…you are a wonderful gal! Wow, I am so blessed!

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