A Clarification (to my previous post)


I want to clear things up just a bit, though I don’t know if my efforts will do much good.

Nevertheless, it is being said of me that in a recent blog post of mine I am “bashing working moms. ” However, I want to make it known that it certainly wasn’t my intent to make anyone feel “bashed” in the process of critiquing our culture’s principles and actions concerning childcare in this country.  I would hate for people I like, respect, and sincerely enjoy to think that I believe them to be bad parents or selfish individuals because they are following career paths, financial security, or whatever.  I know many good people, responsible, loving parents who choose daycare options for their children; I’m not passing judgment on any particular parents or even daycare providers, for that matter.  The practice of observation and evaluation leading to critique are meant to bring introspection, reflection and sometimes results in transformation.  Judgement has no place in that process and, in fact, hinders the process. I stand by my initial arguments, and I still do not know where judgement can be read in my words.  I admit to blatant and harsh critique at times, but these are not the same as pointing fingers and naming names.

What I sought to do was offer an educated, sound critique on childcare, parenting, and our society’s dichotomy over what we say we believe and how those beliefs get practiced today. I was fully prepared to take some heat over my assertions and it seems I have; however, for those who have offered their disagreements, I’ve received none of them directly, only through the grapevine, and this saddens me.

Nonetheless, I tried to show that in our culture, we may be inadvertently participating in a system that may be detrimental or unbeneficial, at the least, simply because it has become the norm.  When seeking to adopt certain values and mores for a community, it is always good to truly evaluate if we, as individuals, happen to be part of a solution, if it’s a solution we even agree with, and to what extent.  It is always wise and good to consider alternate views, even if they make us uncomfortable.  I simply offered an alternative view to the norm.

I would think that if a person is very secure in their decisions and the reasons by which their decisions are arrived, then the questioning of those decisions should not seem threatening, diminishing, or disparaging.  Divergent views may arouse a strong emotional response and may even incite a heated debate, but emotions and debate don’t have to lead to disrespect, dislike, or disgust.  Instead, diversity of thought and practice allow everyone of us opportunity for growth, greater insight, and deeper understanding.  And if, in the process of such dialogue and interaction we come to change our minds, then so be it.  No one has won or lost, we simply continue the journey of life with a different perspective than before.  And if not, if our initial views remain unchanged, no harm done.


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